A Flower in February

Travelling is like a drug. When you're on it, you feel free and alive. When you're not, you go through severe withdrawal.

Earlier this year I travelled back to Saigon, Vietnam, for a two month vacation. I've had a lot of time since to reflect on my trip. A lot can happen in two months when all you have is time, spending-money, and all the motivation in the world to explore and seek new things on a daily basis. Many stories would be considered blog worthy, but for myself, this one particular story stands out from the rest.

It was the week of the beginning of the Lunar New Year, which is the far-eastern equivalent to Christmas Holidays, Thanksgiving, and St. Patricks Day, combined. I met up with a group of other Canadians visiting Vietnam. After an amazing seafood dinner we decided to hit up a club, Lush. When we got there the place was packed with foreigners (my kind). It was mostly a stand up bar, but we decided we wanted a table. After a few minutes I got up to leave and scout the place out. On my way back a girl caught my eye and I decided to go over and say hi to her. I introduced myself and we eventually exchanged numbers. After we had a drink I confessed that I forgot her name, that I wasn't drunk and I was just horrible at names (to this day I still can't remember what her real name is). I told her I'd call her Bom instead which is Vietnamese for flower and she seemed to really dig it.

The following week I called her and she agreed to meet for some coffee. She told me she was with some friends and that I should come to where she was. Being the hungover, cynical asshole that I was that day I couldn't help but to worry. What if she was trying to set me up? What if when I got out of the cab, five rugged-ass Vietnamese dudes rush me on their mopeds and take all of my shit, or even worse I get kidnapped. But she was super cute and I knew I was going meet her regardless, and I felt a little more at ease when she told me to pick her up in front of the Notre-Dame Cathedral, which I knew was at a crowded downtown square.

When we met we walked around the downtown district for a few blocks. Passing by the Saigon Opera House (Above, a picture I took as we were walking by) and other landmarks. High-end retail stores now scatter in abundance throughout the core of the city. Louis Vuitton here, Dolce & Gabbana there. Almost nothing like the Vietnam I visited for the first time back in 2002. (My friends, if I could sum up the Vietnam of now in a few words it would be 'capitalism on steroids'). During our walk we exchanged the mundane and obligatory pieces of information about our day and other trivial facts regarding our lives. I can still remember the way her tanned sundress was swaying lightly in that breeze. At that moment, to me, it felt like we were in the Indochinese version of Before Sunset. Having gone full circle, we settled in at a cafe across the street from the Cathedral.

I asked her what she did for work and she told me that she serves sinh-to(fruit smoothies) and desserts at a small stall on the side of a busy road. She told me she had a younger brother and no other siblings. That her mother had passed away not too long ago, and since then she has been working at the stall every day. I asked her what her aspirations in life were and if she wanted to go back to school. What she told me I'll always remember. The sinh-to stall was actually her mothers before she passed away. While her mother was in the hospital battling illness, she had cared for her during the day, and taken over the sinh-to stall duties at night. She expressed that she couldn't see herself doing anything else, she was happy and that being at the stall and serving her customers gave her a sense of fulfilment and familiarity that brings her closer to her mother. 

When a homeless beggar was going from table to table on the patio of the cafe, Bom was the only one who reached into her bag and handed the man some money. In an ironic twist, I the tourist was asking her why she gave the beggar money, that there are so many of them walking around. What if they all came up to her and asked, would she be able to give to every one of them? She replied with a smile and told me she just felt really sorry for an old person on Lunar New Year. What happened next I kid you not. A bug had crept onto our table and I was going to squish it with my napkin. Bom was quicker than me and managed to grab the bug with hers and placed it on the ground. She revealed that she was a buddhist, and an avid temple-goer. Even something as small as an insect feels pain, and we shouldn't harm it she explained.

I had promised her I would visit her at the stall before I left, so a few days before I flew back to Canada I dropped by with a friend. It was exactly as she had described it. A few small tables and plastic stools set up along the side of a busy road. Her cousin was there helping her out that day and it was just business as usual. There was a vibrant atmosphere about the place and the night. The road was an endless stream of passing cars and mopeds. So many souls travelling in the same direction, and then dispersing. The non-stop honking of horns. The gigantic Times Square style billboards and neon signs that lit the road and gave it this hyperbolic, stylized look. The swarm of customers that would enter and leave the restaurants and karaoke bars across the street, whose music was loud enough to travel across it entirely. In the middle of all the orderly chaos, was a girl, her stall, and a few thirsty patrons. And she was more content and at home than I could have possibly known. And I was really happy for her.

Sadly, I only got to see her a couple of times. But that was enough to make the kind of impression on me that she did. Some people have this gentle element to them. Their smiles pierce through the most skeptical of eyes. Their personalities shine so bright you feel an undeniable sense of warmth when you're around them. And in a city of eight million people, and a country with ninety million, I'm glad I stumbled upon her, by a crowded dance floor, in a packed nightclub, that one night in February.

The Physicist

"You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly."

- Aaron Freeman.

Remember, Remember, that Day in November?

It's 1:30 in the morning. I'm wired on prescription drugs, so I'm thinking that my best option right now is to write a blog entry. Sleep? Sleep is for the weak. My apologies for potential grammar and/or spelling mistakes. Once again, I'm wired on prescription drugs.

So just a few things on my mind as of late. I've stressed this many times and I'll continue doing so. It always seems as though the people whom we know the least make the greatest impact on us. A complete stranger can instantly brighten up our days. Two examples;

1) I was short a few dollars the other day at Starbucks, I was then going to buy myself and my little cousins something with my credit card but the card reader failed to recognize it, so I had to cancel 2 of the 3 orders. The gentlemen before us, waiting for his drink, saw this occuring and offered to buy us our drinks. Like, wow really? And his excuse was that it's Christmas time. I obviously declined because I just don't like taking free things from strangers, but good on him for doing that. He also came outside after my cousin got her drink and kept insisting. Society needs more people like this.

2) I've made a lot of acquaintances through social networking lately. Particularly Twitter. Some whom I haven't even met in real life before, or some just once or twice, yet they share with me interesting stuff about music, movies, photography, social networking, etc. Some take the time out of their day to link me songs they think I might be interested in. Or even to inform me of what menu items are bomb at a particular restaurant. It's crazy how social networking has this majestic ability to bring people together just like that. The power of the internet is so endless.

There's this one person in particular, I have not met her before, I don't know what her voice sounds like, I have a vague idea of what she looks like, we communicate through tweets and texts but we just click when we talk (pun intended). I may be witty, slick, silly, even charming with my words sometimes with most girls but not every one can open up my thoughts as she does. I can only hope to have that same effect for her. I think she'll be a significant person in this wretched life of mine (it doesn't hurt that we have a few friends in common).

On a different note, this time last year I was back in Calgary celebrating my birthday with friends whom at that point I haven't seen for about a year and a half. I ended up staying 3 weeks or so. It was truly good times. Despite all of the bad and misfortune that followed afterwards, I'll definitely always remember the good more. This year probably won't live up to the last, but I still have my friends and family here I can spend quality time with, and that's what is most important.

Day After Day

I have no regrets, what so ever, because I know that I went with my heart.
And I'll always continue to do so.

The Constant

You know, one of life's many constants is that some complete strangers can brighten up our days with the kindest words, sometimes with just a mere greeting or compliment. Yet the ones we truly love are capable of destroying our world with the cruelest.

It wasn't too long ago when I fell, hard. You are no different from I, we all fall at certain times. And the most painful collapses are from words conveyed from the most unexpected sources, from the people whom we trust our hearts with. But what matters most is if we have the capability to pick ourself back up. And not a day goes by where I don't tell myself to stay on my feet. Because the truth is, falling hurts. And I will never, ever, let anyone else's words push me over or bring me down again.

A Letter To Myself

These heart felt ramblings are not for you, not for anyone who reads this, but for myself. It's to remind me of the adverse memories that sometimes still linger on in my head from time to time.

After Dance

So I'm in the process of starting my own production company. The name I've come up with is "After Dance Productions." Has a nice flow to it and isn't all in-your-face. Right now we're nothing more than a few cameras, tripods, with past and upcoming engagements under our belt… But eventually within the next few years I want to open up a state of the art studio, located in beautiful downtown Vancouver. We'll deal mostly with events, weddings, model portfolio's and personal/professional portraits and albums.

I plan to be fully equipped with hair and make-up artists, photographers, videographers, and assistants and possibly graphic designers and interns. I know that there are many artists out there who are fresh out of schools like Vancouver Film, Art Institute, Blanche MacDonald Centre (hair and make-up), and many others, who don't really know which direction to step into after they graduate, or just don't have the right opportunities. Maybe I can give them such a possibility.

It's kind of a semi-dream I have right now. One that isn't impossibly out of reach. And if things go well, I can leave it for someone else to manage and I can pursue other ventures simultaneously. After all, my goal is to become a music video director and then ultimately a cinematographer. But honestly, do you ever really know what life has in store?

La Sagesse

I'll keep this as short and sweet as possible.

Life is going to flash before our very eyes before we know it. Most of us have just arrived in our 20's (or are about to do so). The next ten years, I believe is the time where; when we'll be in our 40's and 50s, we'll be looking back and wishing that we could go back and experience that magnitude of youthfulness.

For most of us, before we know it we'll be walking the stage at our convocations. Attending our best friends wedding. Being interviewed for our dream job (or getting fired from jobs that we absolutely despise). Waiting outside of the delivery room (or inside if you have a vagina). Meeting with a financial advisor to plan our mortgages and pentions, etc, etc.

Life will throw anything and everything at you, and there will certainly be times when we will fall. But what matters is if we can pick ourselves back up or not. Because we all have dreams and goals, and let me tell you this; they are far more significant than temporary depression or loss of motivation. They are the life boats that keep us thriving, and drives us to accomplish and succeed.

So honestly, just let life take you. But do so with the least amount of cynicism as possible and always, always go with your heart.

A Fire Blue

I'm no longer sad that you broke my heart. I'm sad that you're out of my life.

And I just hope that no matter where you are, or what you're doing, that you're safe and happy.